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Soft lap often informs people that when I was a kitten I was a stray (no idea what this means... when the world is my home.. how can i be stray?) apparently i got separated from my family and was found in a industrial park after having been hit by a car. The Vet told Soft lap that I might have learning disabilities or head injuries. Personally I find that unlikely as I am a perfectly able 'cat about town'. However, I do have some difficulties with the stuff they call 'Water' and Soft lap puts this forward as evidence of my 'Problem'  along with the time i tried to jump on the wallpaper border stripe; well really... it looked like a shelf, its an easy mistake anyone could make, I bet there are people all over the world with sore heads from trying to jump on those border things, they should be banned.

So, water... I mean its transparent for a start, which is a pretty big design flaw if you ask me. Its wet of course which isn't a problem unless its deep. My water bowl is quite deep however, and because the water is transparent i cant see where it starts which gives me two options; I can stick part of myself in the bowl (usually a paw or my head) and test to see where the water starts, this has the major disadvantage of getting wet unexpectedly. (not something I relish) I have come up with an alternative option however, this involves rocking the bowl until it tips water ont the floor where i can drink it without dipping my fur in it.

For some reason this makes soft lap very agitated, something I find rather odd given that outside there is often water on the floor and she doesn't mind that *Licks paw in brief contemplation* This difference in opinion over whether my water should be 'in the bowl' or 'on the floor' has led to the bowl wars. The bowl wars consist of Soft lap trying to find heavier, wider, untippable bowls which I then proceed to find a way to tip up. Its the simplest of catalyst that often lead to the greatest of wars.

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Willow
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The Secret Lives of Animals

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